About
I had my so-called mid-life crisis at the age of 35, when I inexplicably lost heart in my business, suffered terminal conflict with my partner and found myself seeking solace in distractions like alcohol. It was partly fuelled by a previous motorbike accident which robbed me of my sports career and damaged my physical self-esteem, but there was much more going on under the surface too. I didn't think of myself as the kind of guy who needed help so therapy was off the agenda. However by some stroke of luck or fate, I met a man who is now one of the country’s most sought-after mentors. With this man’s guidance, I started the long process of reconstructing my life.
I came to see that I had been ‘winging it’, and trying to make sense of life and work without any real connection to core values or authentic feelings. I had become something of an appealing but empty shell wearing the mask of a dynamic man who was in charge. I was lost in the world of television, acting out the role of being a big shot producer. Life was a grand game and I the bewildered pawn, believing himself to be a king. The collapse of ego was inevitable.
What I have come to realize is that dysfunctional habits and attitudes of one kind or another exist everywhere, and are peculiar to both individuals and organisations, where what people think and do is somehow at odds – to some extent – with what they feel deep within. This dysfunction needs our attention if we are to live more comfortably in our own skin and feel whole-hearted about our life and work.
As a mentor myself now, the approach I have to offer is that of an explorer – to ask questions until a meaningful shift in perception arises. How much of a shift we experience depends on how much attention we wish to pay to the questions. I believe that change is difficult to achieve alone. An ideal companion on the journey of change is a proactive and caring mentor.
